Moments ago, a friend of mine called me "weird" (a cognitive distortion known as "labeling") after she learned I didn't know that she was the one text-messaging me this morning.
For the record, out of the 18 contacts in my address book, four are family members (22%) and 12 are my closest friends or acquaintances I enjoy being connected to the most (78%) . Since I'm connected to nearly 2,000 people due to friendships, education, volunteering, or business, there are ten super smart reasons why I have under 20 contacts. Let's begin:
1. Functionality - I prefer to quickly locate the people with whom I speak the most.
2. Availability - Due to the nature of my work and lifestyle, I am most often unavailable for unscheduled phone calls.
3. Discipline - One of my personal preferences is to limit distractions.
4. Efficiency - E-mails are a better way to communicate for non-urgent priorities.
5. Interest - While it would be fun to be connected to plenty of people on my cell phone, I have enough fun being connected to people via e-mail and Facebook.
6. Effort - I am not interested in taking the time and making the effort to maintain an abundant address book.
7. Temptation - In my spare time, I do some personal coaching. While I'm an exceptional listener and enjoy helping people reach personal and business goals, I would be tempted to help even more people if I had 24/7 access to them in the palm of my hand.
8. Minutes - Up until May 2008, I had the 300 min./month Verizon calling plan. It's true, but I was actually only averaging 200 minutes a month. While I'm now on a 450 min./month plan (and actually hit 700 last month due to new coaching clients), having limitations helps me focus on my priorities.
9. Opportunity Costs - The more I speak on the phone today, the less I'll want to speak on the phone tomorrow. That's not good if tomorrow I'm committed to making specific phone calls. This one's for you, Ma!
10. My Profession - I am a professional speaker who is compensated to communicate to people on a one-on-one basis, in small groups, or before large audiences. Some days, I spend 8-12 hours speaking to people. For professional speakers, the last thing one wishes to do after a day or week of speaking is to speak on the phone. And for no fee, mind you.
So there you have it friends. Interested in having me speak? Please visit my web site to learn more about me.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
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6 comments:
That's one point of view, but having more contacts is good for caller-id purposes. Unless you memorize every contact number, you're likely to forget who happens to be calling.
While I agree that it's important to have numbers at your fingertips, I offer three other ways to make it easier to find your friends/family on your cell phone:
1) Speed dial. For those you talk to more frequently or those you'll need to speak to, assign their particular numbers with single-digit numbers. For those who aren't as important, give them two-digit numbers.
2)Received/Dialed numbers. For those you call most frequently or perhaps those who call you the most often, they'll be listed more frequently in your phone's call memory. It should be relatively easy to find those numbers.
3) "Dual" lists. Take advantage of how your phone stores names, and put a numerical value next to their names. (e.g. "01 - John Doe") Those names will appear first in your address book. (This isn't my favorite idea, but it might work for yoau...)
Without all the other contacts in your address book, you only have several rings to determine who the number is and who is calling. Sounds inefficient for someone who utilizes their cell phone for their business endeavors.
Seth as some good ideas here. Having multiple contacts in your phone does not mean you will be talking to all of them and only makes it easier if you need to contact one of them.
Quality plus efficiency....
I've got a low information diet. I'm currently comfortable with a maximum of 20 contacts. Less is more. Personal preference. Some may prefer 30, 40, 60, or more contacts, etc... I've made my choice and am happy about it. Perhaps if I used the phone more, I'd have more of an interest/need to have more contacts. As for missed calls and playing phone tag, I rarely get any phone calls, so nothing lost given my choices. E-mail is optimal!
I've read through your website, and much is true and rational, although I feel some of it sounds shallow. I am a firm believer of being considerate and unconditional to people. Technology is amazing, and assists in keeping in contact with others, but a good old fashion phone call to say hello means more. We are all called in this world to help the next person, whether they be personal or a stranger. We all have responsibility for one another. If we had that mentality, we wouldn't be so selfish, and the world, even if it's a small change, would change for the better. It's how we treat the next person that defines who we are.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
"Anonymous" left a comment about being shallow. Isn't that fitting?
Well, Anonymous, thank you for writing. I believe you misunderstood my point of view. I am not suggesting one completely eliminate personal telephone calls. I am providing insight on how I manage my tools, systems, and actions since I'm connected to a lot of people (whether in depth or light associations).
We can't be everything to everyone. Some relationships will be deeper than others. We'll connect with some people in person, some on the phone, and others via e-mail. You recognize this idea.
As for being called into this world to help the next person and having responsibility for one another, I'd have to disagree. However, I would like more people to believe what you believe so we may build a better community, society, nation, and world.
Call ya later!
Jared,
It's brilliant! While I often employ saving contacts as a "do not answer" reminder, with my 2009 new years resolution being discipline in all areas of my life, I think I may have to adopt your simple remedy.
I am no motivational speaker, however, as much as I spend evenings counseling friends and texting, it has become such a distraction that I find myself having to constantly outweigh opportunity costs. It's the 21st century and we just don't have the liesure time we use to...
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