"My Battery is Going to Die!"

You must have heard it a million times: "I've got to go... my battery is going to die." Whether you were speaking with your girlfriend in Los Angeles, your fiance in New York, your wife in Miami or all three lovely ladies at the same time on your cell phone, that familiar quote must ring a bell. Do you honestly think they were ever telling the truth? I for one have always been honest in stating the reality of my cell phone's condition, yet people sometimes think I'm talking about my fear of losing my phone's life.

Some people may believe that I'm obsessed with death and dying by bringing up the fact that my cell phone battery's days are numbered. Others may understand that when I say, "My battery is going to die," I mean that the power level in the current battery located in my cell phone is nearly empty and it would be a good time to end the conversation to prevent getting cut off mid sentence. I'm sure they all know it's the latter meaning.

Oh, but what if it were the perfect way to end a conversation without coming off as impersonal, curt, or inconsiderate? Personally, I feel the best way to end a conversation is to prevent having one in the first place, especially when we're talking about talking on a cell phone. What percentage of cell phone calls made during our most active hours are action-based? How many are talk-based? Let me explain:

Action-Based Phone Calls - briefly discussing logistics, strategies, or plans of action. Example: "I'm at the theatre and can get two tickets to Phantom tonight. Do you want to see it again for the seventh time?"

Talk-Based Phone Calls - briefly discussing whatever's on one's mind
Example: "What did you have for lunch today?"

Just consider the realities of using a cell phone. Beyond the potential convenience, realize the actual inconvenience. Have you ever experienced these symptoms?:

(1) Feeling compelled to check your cell phone each time it rings, chimes, or plays a seductive ringtone.
(2) Feeling obligated to answer every call including those without showing a legitimate telephone number in your "caller id".
(3) Feeling required to answer even if it's to say you're not available to speak.

Consider using the excuse "My battery is going to die" the next time your cell phone rings when you are compelled to answer that call. Only when you begin having the self-control to allow calls to go to voice mail or to leave your phone on in silent mode will you consider how much power you'll save by not immediately accepting an incoming call.

True autonomy and control will exist when you have the power to turn off the power, conserve your energy (and your cell phone's energy), and focus on the true urgent priorities in your day. Sometimes it's beneficial to be unavailable. Think about the common results of supply and demand and turn off your cell phone for a day or even a few hours.

During my senior year of high school, I had dated a young woman a couple of times and within a few weeks had lost interest in seeing her again. Upon attempting to reach me via telephone at home one night, my Dad (the sweetest guy I know), sensed her urgency in needing to speak to me. He quickly stated that someone must have either been dead or pregnant, so he asked, "Which is it?"

Good news: no one was dead or pregnant (or both). And would you believe that she never called me at my Dad's place again? If only cell phones today came with parental controls for adults.

Until that feature is offered, let's stick to e-mail, and I promise I won't get my Dad involved.

Why I Don't Want to Have Coffee (With You)

Years ago, I bought stock in a company called Starbucks Coffee and walked away with $1000 in profit. It was around the same time I invested in a company called Krispy Kreme and lost about that much money, too. You may have heard of these companies; they're responsible for feeding millions of energy- and sugar-deprived Americans. It is with pleasure that I consider these corporations responsible for making our friends and neighbors the mentally-balanced and physically-fit champions that they are today.

And it's because of my unconventional perspective on American consumption and lifestyle-demolition that I won't be meeting a friend for a 32 oz. coffee or a dozen doughnuts anytime soon. The real reason, however, that I don't want to meet one-on-one with one of my classmates from middle school, high school, or college or any other long winding list of connections is due to quantitative overload.

Starbucks and Krispy Kreme have done good business at one point. I passed by a Starbucks today in the West Village of NYC and begin speaking to myself. "You don't go to Starbucks for coffee. You go to Starbucks to experience sharing a handmade custom-made beverage with complete strangers in a quant environment with modern-looking furniture. Starbucks offers a nice experience. Krispy Kreme offers a nice experience, too."

As a self-proclaimed experiential marketing specialist, I value top-notch experiences. That's why I won't be having coffee with you or anyone else. You want me to do what? Take time and make the effort to transport my body to a central, public location where consumption is king and I'm the jester? You want me to do what? Take time and make the effort to interact with you and share an intimate (although public) experience with you in a stimulating environment with revolving consumers?

There I go again. Blaming the experience we would share when the fact of the matter is very simple. In an ideal time and place, I would have the opportunity and resources to provide everyone I know and have some sort of connection with the chance to connect in person after months or years of mostly online communication. Unfortunately, I'm preoccupied in facing quantitative overload. And you know as well as I do that you're too busy, too.

It's not you, it's me. It's not that you're not important to me. You are - you always have been. Sure, we just met and I don't know your last name. Or sure, we've been connected for 10 or 20 years and I still haven't memorized your birthday. You mean the world to me. It's just that the other stuff in my life somehow seems more important.

Not to mention my consistent preference for independence, solitude, control, and silence after spending long periods of time speaking with people in person - while standing up!

I don't want to have coffee with you because I have filled my plate with responsibilities, projects, priorities, and obligations that are "conflicts of interest" when considering what we once shared. Your conflict may be high and my interest may be low, but you were a part of my life and still are and will always be apart of my life.

So, let's face it: since I'm totally booked, let's just stick to Facebook. And for the record, I don't even drink coffee. Some friend you are...

Ending an Abusive Relationship With E-mail

In Timothy Ferriss' book, The 4-Hour Work Week, he suggested that a reader who is serious about saving time to try out a rare concept: checking e-mail twice a day. Ten in the morning and four in the afternoon worked for him at one point. This idea sounded great to me and I even tried it out twice on two separate occasions. While it worked out quite well those two days, I had always resorted back to the old strategy: checking my e-mail as many times as possible each day and responding to many of the e-mails I had received as often as well. Until recently.

I've recently been working on getting myself out of a bad relationship with my e-mail account. As e-mails come in these days, I greet them, welcome them to my Inbox, and read them, but don't immediately respond. I'm working on logging in less often and reading less e-mails, too. It's going to be a gradual process for me to change my behavior. Can you relate to any of these warning signs?

Warning Sign #1: Checking E-mail Too Many Times Each Day

Checking my e-mail a ridiculous number of times each day may have started in 2002. I never wanted to miss out on my next business opportunity, so I chose to login often. Looking back, I now realize that rather than waiting passively for my next opportunity (by proactively clicking "reload"), I could have invested more of my time creating my own next opportunity. Logging in often rarely led me to "lucking out" often.

Warning Sign #2: Opening and Reading Every E-mail

I've occasionally toyed with the idea of allowing an e-mail or two sit in my Inbox without opening it. Maybe for a moment, an hour, or a day. I have probably never done this, however, because each e-mail has been valued like a birthday card: "It doesn't matter what day it is, Mom. I want to open it now! Yay!"

Warning Sign #3: Immediately Responding to E-mails

It wasn't until I read Ferriss' book that I realized that I also had the tendency to respond to people's emails immediately and often. I'm talking about nearly every e-mail that I read from someone I knew and especially a new contact. No matter the time of day and no matter the topic, if I was at a computer, I chose to make myself available to respond. Business e-mail? "Yes, I'm still in work mode - it will only take a moment," I would tell myself. Personal e-mail? "I'm just taking a break - it will only take a moment."

Nonsense!

The moments added up and if I were to compile the amount of time I've spent logging in, checking, reading, and responding to e-mails, I could use that time to write my next three books. Do you know what happens when you respond to someone's e-mail? You usually get a response! And I bet you know what happens next. Chain reactions can get heavy, you know.

E-mails between friends sometimes lead to a snowball effect of notes shared between the two writers. Throw in the potential for comments that lack specifics and you've got more reasons to write back. Also, consider the e-mails one receives that offer new business opportunities but lack some important details. They may lead to requesting clarification via... e-mail! And let's not forget about the e-mails where she read one thing, you meant another, and it was only because what she wrote you thought meant something else.

How do we win here? Structure. Self-control. Discipline. Saying, "No!"

Who's hurting who the most? Is your e-mail account the bad guy here or is it you? Either way, if you can relate to this unhealthy relationship, only you have the power to get out of it. Your e-mail account is unable and unwilling to mend the relationship.

I met Timothy Ferriss briefly in August at the National Speakers Association national convention in NYC. He had just given a presentation on marketing and social networking and was in an elevator. It stopped on the floor I was on and the door opened. The elevator was packed and he was facing in with his arms spread out. I asked, "Is that Timothy Ferriss?" It was. I told him I enjoyed his presentation, introduced myself, shook his hand, and told him I'd send him an e-mail. I also noted that I understood that it may be weeks before he would respond.

Would you believe that I never actually wrote him that e-mail I said I would write? It turns out that his advice in cutting back on e-mail can eventually work. Try it out for yourself and be sure to let me know how it goes. Right now! But write later.

Volunteer Work Will Set You Free

Bird-watching was the only nontraditional hobby I had in high school. Don't laugh. Reading self-help books replaced that hobby during my senior year. Be nice. While I may have only read two self-help books at that time, they were both by Dale Carnegie. Carnegie mentioned in his book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, that a great way to overcome psychological suffering caused by depression is to volunteer.

This tip worked for me personally as a high school senior in 1996 when I created a bad scenario inside my head due to what I call, "negative creativity." I foolishly chose the wrong path which led me to thinking the wrong way. I ultimately chose to feel awful about the unknown outcome of what I thought was a bad choice, and coped with my stressor by painting a small bedroom in my Mom's house.

While it wasn't even volunteer work because it was (1) part of my job as a good son and (2) a specific request made by my Mom, the productivity and creativity that I experienced helped me change what was going on inside my head. I suppose there wasn't much creativity, though, given that I used just one color of paint. Throughout this project, I forgot my previous preoccupation with unreasonable fear and doubt.

There are so many ways in which a person may volunteer these days. Leadership works for me. Since 2005, I've been volunteering as president of the University of Maryland Alumni Club of San Diego. Earlier this year, I began volunteering as the founding president of my high school's unofficial alumni association. While I've experienced pride and joy connecting fellow alumni across the county and country, respectively, my efforts have not been self-serving (even though it often feels that way).

Me volunteer? A self-employed, sole proprietor, whose own web site domain name is jaredmeyer.com has the ability to think beyond his own well-being, own career, and own personal agenda? Sure thing.

Consider volunteerism a hobby. Like birdwatching, but with less redundancy, more satisfaction, and less people laughing at you. Anyone who laughs at you for having a nontraditional hobby clearly hasn't read Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. And for those of you who are just a tad curious about the lad who bird watched as a teenager, let's just say he always got the chicks.

Curb Your Dog's Enthusiasm

I've had the pleasure of living in NYC here and there over the past few months and I've got to say that it's been a real treat. While there are so many wonderful things I can comment upon like the noise from automobiles, the smell from plenty of smokers, and general overcrowding, I thought I'd take a moment and focus on what I now call, "Animal (Self) Control."

I'm sure it's not the pet owners or their professional dog walkers that are purposely walking their dogs in the middle of the sidewalk while blocking oncoming traffic and allowing biological deposits to appear across the city. I'm sure that it is the dogs who are really to blame. I have found that the dogs in NYC are so enthusiastic about walking around such a stimulating city that they often disregard the fact that sidewalks are meant solely for walking. Ever wonder why dogs are so excited to get the hell out of their homes? Read on.

"New York City! Center of the Universe! The City That Never Sleeps!," these dogs must be thinking as they go about their business as if the sidewalk were one, long desk. While the gutter is an undogly place to be productive, from a humanitarian perspective, what reasonably-minded human would allow their pets to "pound the pavement" anywhere on the pavement?

Hundreds of thousands of people walk on the sidewalks each day in NYC. Hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers walk inside their homes each night. And hundreds of thousands walk in and around their living quarters at any and every moment. That being said, why would any dog walker be comfortable allowing a dog to enthusiastically "go" on the pavement?

Sure, there's no specific law about walking dogs on a specific side of the sidewalk. There's a law about picking up after your dog. Thank goodness. New idea: how about a law of dog walking only being legal on the pavement closest to the curb? "Curb Your Dog" is a law that states one should be responsible for and pick up after their dog. Is that enough? Nope. There is no law here that states that the said dogs in question are required to be walked curbside.

Imagine if it were a law to only walk a dog curbside. Would anyone be found violating the law by a police officer? Would they try to fight the ticket? "Your honor, I was leading my dog to the curb, but due to biology and my pet's lack of self-control, we didn't make it there in time. You know how exciting it is to live in NYC. My dog is quite enthusiastic and hard to curb." It's a reasonable excuse, especially when your record is clean and any knowledge of previous violations has been wiped away.

So, where do we go from here? Let's start a movement where all pet owners and dog walkers take responsibility to keep the sidewalks clear. Do you know why the dogs are so enthusiastic to go outside in NYC? It may be because the floors inside their homes are dirtier than the sidewalks. Where's Larry David when you need him? (Cue the music.)

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Need a professional dog walker in NYC? "While the economy has been falling, business has actually been picking up," says Mia MacFarlane, owner of Canine Concierge.

Why I Don't Want Kids

Having had an online dating profile for 10 years, my stated preference in having children has been anywhere between "Do not want children" to "Someday."

No matter what I feel at this moment about having and raising children, anything is possible in the future. I may want kids in the year 2018.

Nevertheless, as I look back at over 30 years of being a human being, I continue to state to those closest to me and the media that I currently do not want to have children.

The media have made a big deal about this by including my story in multiple publications like People and Time magazine. Check it out for yourself. Big story. Everywhere. Even in The Economist, writers have found my story compelling.

My story is very simple. Call it a "condition" if you prefer.

In general, I have learned that being the best parent possible requires a significant amount of consistent time, interest, resources, effort, and dedication. See the acronym? It spells T.I.R.E.D. That's a red flag for someone like me.

Who am I?

I am a talented, young, pre-occupied, independent, self-focused, traveler. I've been a T.Y.P.I.S.T. since graduating college. No matter what I've been or done and no matter what I've experienced, I have never wanted to have nor raise children. It's that simple. It's that rare. It is what it is.

Basic biology states that humans are to have children as what's the point to be human if you're not procreating?

Don't get me wrong, I'm pro-creating. In fact, I'm very pro-creating and perhaps that's the challenge. I have been so preoccupied with creativity - music, art, writing, and self-expression since college that I haven't made the time to consider a life dedicated to children.

I've been focused on building a career as a professional speaker, building wealth, and improving my health. I don't have the time nor the inclination to consider having children. It's not that I don't value the idea of family - I do. Thanks to my parents' divorce, my family is a little bigger and I have an extra parent. It's just that I would rather commit myself to 100 things before I commit to a child.

Am I a bad person? Not at all. I've been very responsible in preventing having children. I would rather do an exceptional job at not being a father than do a poor job at being a parent.

Look kids, it just comes down to one thing: I am not - nor have I ever been - interested in having children because I have been interested in so many other things that I never took the opportunity to consider the wonderful aspects of fatherhood.

So, stop being a baby, and consider being more open-minded to those that don't desire the same biological things as you. When it comes to biology, not everyone prefers a healthy-lifestyle, daily physical activity, or being a vegetarian. And not everyone prefers the same psychological things like being self-employed, traveling the country, and focusing on their music, art, literature, and public speaking.

Who wants to hear a bedtime story?!

Let me write it first. My "baby" is due New Years Eve and I hope she's a healthy 150 pages, easy to read, and super fun. Just like her father.

My Addiction to Frequent Flyer Miles and More

I swear, your honor, it's not an addiction - it's just a powerful affinity that I have towards the airlines, hotels, and restaurants that offer me sweet incentives to remain their #1 loyal fan.

In fact, sometimes I'm able to double, triple, or quadruple-dip not just because they allow such an option (like Hilton Honors program where you get double points or additional frequent flyer miles with each stay), but because I work the system like I have nothing better to do with my time.

Here's one basic example of how I've been able to build value while experiencing great flights, hotel stays, and meals:

• Make a dinner reservation using OpenTable.com and ideally when you can get those special 1,000 point reservations (vs. the usual and petty 100 points).
• Dine at a restaurant with a frequent diners program - like Lawrys or Chart House.
• Dine at a time or on a day where you get double points from said restaurant. Before 6pm at Lawrys or on Mondays at Peohe's in San Diego, Calif., for example.
  
• Use a credit card where you get double points at restaurants (JetBlue American Express credit card)
• Get reimbursed for the meal by your client, employer, partner, or family member.

As you leave the restaurant, grab the bowl of candy on the counter, post them on Craigslist, and you'll gain an additional amount of value.

Need more value? Approach the person handling the service where they park your car for you. I'm drawing a blank on the name of the service because I'm only thinking of my points that I have with seven hotels and eight airlines. Feign like you lost your ticket. Mention "Vehicle 12" and he'll grab the keys and get your new car. It's practically free, but out of good faith and being a fair and decent human being, tip the guy $5.00.

I'm sure you know what to do with the vehicle after you take it home.

eBay, kids, eBay.