Long ago, in October of 1929, something pretty significant happened in America. The great stock market crash that occurred on Oct. 29th that year was followed by a huge depression and other bad stuff. History used to be my favorite subject until "creative writing" became my favorite class. "Bad stuff" is a historically creative comment that our nation's best writers have shared with their readers. Trust me on this one.
Things sure were different back then: cell phones and the Internet were fantasies and the TV we know of today wasn't invented until just about one year prior to the crash. "Pounding the pavement" and "banging the phones" led most people towards finding work, earning income, and building relationships. Now, all we have to do is send a bulk e-mail to our 1,352 friends online and we'll end up with at least four job offers, but what if aspects of then began now?
What if our country was facing similar economic crises that were as bad as back in 1929? The way things are looking, we may be preparing for some bigger challenges beyond inflation, foreclosures, failing banks, and a falling stock market. Boy have things changed:
Urgent Priorities at That Time:
(1) Food
(2) Shelter
(3) Clothing
My Urgent Priorities at This Time:
(1) Food, Shelter, and Clothing
(2) Cell Phone and Internet
(3) Gym and Music
(4) Travel and Entertainment
Like back then, substances like alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine won't be a priority because those are surely just for social purposes and surely, who feels like celebrating now? However, as New Years Eve approaches, Americans will still celebrate beyond the general good times experienced on Halloween and Thanksgiving (and those other Winter holidays).
Without those three party enhancements (the sauce, sticks, or kicks), Americans should still be able to enjoy spending time together in person. During the 1920s and early 1930s, Americans were still able to have a good time without booze and I'm sure they can have an even better time now without all of the three pricey, "evil doers."
Beyond the celebrations, life in the US will be like ole' times again. We'll try to simplify and prioritize. Maybe instead of spending zero hours watching TV or Internet each day like they did back then, we'll cut back by one or two hours a day. Perhaps we'll pull out Checkers or Candyland and spend some quality time with our loved ones. Imagine all the books we could read! Imagine all the books I could write!
I'm going to go start planning for my book launch party. Imagine the 1000s of people that will want to come together and celebrate my next book, The Truth About Fear and Doubt. Just when you thought it was safe to go out and celebrate on Halloween, an even scarier event is approaching. Considering joining me at a party celebrating a scary subject like fear where the only stimulants found will be within a 150 pg. book. Writing 150 pages in America? Now that's something pretty significant, too.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Rejected from The University of Vulnerability
I'll be the first to firmly admit that I was never rejected by the admissions department at The University of Vulnerability. I was never admitted either, though, because I was afraid that I may be rejected. I prevented the potential mental pain (shame, sadness, or embarrassment) by not applying at all.
According to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary, here are the first two definitions of the word "vulnerability":
1 : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2 : open to attack or damage : assailable <vulnerable to criticism>
I would never want to be capable of being hurt or open to the opportunity of facing a loss. I would never want to be vulnerable - unless I was capable of calculating risks and open to the opportunity of facing great rewards.
I believe there's a theory, thought, quote, or myth - something - about "risk versus reward." The greater the risk, the greater the reward. It's apparent in gambling or investing in stocks, but does it apply to experiences in day-to-day life?
Is there any difference in the related risks and rewards of applying to one school versus another? Asking one person out for a date versus another? Committing to one career over another?
Perhaps the higher the quality, the more likely one may choose to feel bad about possibly being rejected. Perhaps in our daily lives, rejection is all the same until we face extremes.
Example: I meet a woman I like a lot (like, "I would have this person's children and spend the rest of my life with them,"), share a conversation, ask her out, and she rejects me. I could immediately feel bad and start to question the multiple reasons she said, "No." Or I could appreciate my willingness to risk loss (losing something I never truly had, though) and realize that there was a good chance her choice had very little or even nothing to do with me.
No matter the reason, I would have been educated enough to be open to the opportunity. The more open we are to opportunities, the more opportunities we are open to finding. Cyclical Pattern #1.
It sounds nice, but for someone who prefers to think good thoughts (and therefore feel good based on those thoughts), going the easy route has been a preference of mine as well.
No one wants to feel inadequate. Good news: there's a way to prevent feeling dumb or weak after choosing to be vulnerable to rejection and loss: understanding and accepting reasons for your potential "failure" that don't even relate to you. And being open to learning about ways to improve your position, offerings, or competitive advantage.
I'm apart of "Generation Me" and often get what I want. Personally, however, this mentality places limitations on what I want because to play it safe, I normally don't want very much. Cyclical Pattern #2.
If I reprogram myself just a little bit and realize that I can have whatever I want within reason while being reasonable (and sure, vulnerable), I may be more likely to attempt to get it. Get it? I did. Eventually...
According to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary, here are the first two definitions of the word "vulnerability":
1 : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2 : open to attack or damage : assailable <vulnerable to criticism>
I would never want to be capable of being hurt or open to the opportunity of facing a loss. I would never want to be vulnerable - unless I was capable of calculating risks and open to the opportunity of facing great rewards.
I believe there's a theory, thought, quote, or myth - something - about "risk versus reward." The greater the risk, the greater the reward. It's apparent in gambling or investing in stocks, but does it apply to experiences in day-to-day life?
Is there any difference in the related risks and rewards of applying to one school versus another? Asking one person out for a date versus another? Committing to one career over another?
Perhaps the higher the quality, the more likely one may choose to feel bad about possibly being rejected. Perhaps in our daily lives, rejection is all the same until we face extremes.
Example: I meet a woman I like a lot (like, "I would have this person's children and spend the rest of my life with them,"), share a conversation, ask her out, and she rejects me. I could immediately feel bad and start to question the multiple reasons she said, "No." Or I could appreciate my willingness to risk loss (losing something I never truly had, though) and realize that there was a good chance her choice had very little or even nothing to do with me.
No matter the reason, I would have been educated enough to be open to the opportunity. The more open we are to opportunities, the more opportunities we are open to finding. Cyclical Pattern #1.
It sounds nice, but for someone who prefers to think good thoughts (and therefore feel good based on those thoughts), going the easy route has been a preference of mine as well.
No one wants to feel inadequate. Good news: there's a way to prevent feeling dumb or weak after choosing to be vulnerable to rejection and loss: understanding and accepting reasons for your potential "failure" that don't even relate to you. And being open to learning about ways to improve your position, offerings, or competitive advantage.
I'm apart of "Generation Me" and often get what I want. Personally, however, this mentality places limitations on what I want because to play it safe, I normally don't want very much. Cyclical Pattern #2.
If I reprogram myself just a little bit and realize that I can have whatever I want within reason while being reasonable (and sure, vulnerable), I may be more likely to attempt to get it. Get it? I did. Eventually...
Clear and Pleasant Danger
Just when you thought it was safe, they tend to stick around like they're your family. You can move out or move across the country, but they may always be there unless you change your mind and ask them to leave. In preparation of my next book on fear and doubt, I realized that both can sometimes be like overprotective parents.
Fear and doubt may have been the #1 reason I didn't become a keynote speaker immediately after college graduation. Fear and doubt's response: "As long as you're under our roof, you will do what we say." The roof being the top of my head in that case, for fear and doubt are like an extra set of parents that reside deep inside of it.
Fear and doubt may have been the #1 reason I rarely approached a young woman to start a conversation with the intention of dating her. Fear and doubt's response: "We were only trying to protect you, honey."
If someone were to ask me right now: "Jared, if you could do it over, would you have focused completely on building a career as a keynote speaker?", I wouldn't necessarily say, "Yes." In general, I'm not one to regret things. Additionally, the past eight years have allowed me to speak on behalf of over 100 companies. I was okay being fed scripts no matter how small they were. I made the material my own. And rather than look back and regret my choices, I'd prefer to say I am grateful for the past and now prepared to provide my own topics and content.
I now acknowledge that even if I had started giving presentations based on my shtick more often after graduation, I would have probably faced fear and doubt in other areas of my work.
Until I truly understand the intricacies of fear and doubt, there may always be something to fear. Maybe I didn't do then what I would have now liked to have done due to simply not being ready. I wasn't ready to face hard work. I wasn't ready to face potential rejection. And certainly, I wasn't ready to face my fears.
Whatever it was that held me back, it allowed me to have a relatively carefree, easy, and enjoyable quality of life. The dangers of not getting booked, making a positive impression on audiences, nor earning income from speaking were hidden by years of working as a public speaker and marketing specialist. Gigs that allowed me to feel like I was on vacation.
"Maybe you should get a real job," my fear and doubt would ask me. No, wait, that really was my Mom who was the only one who said that. And besides, the only real job that I knew that was right for me at the time (and now) is that of a professional speaker. There is no other rational, realistic, reasonable, or practical choice. That is, of course, other than stalling.
The clear and pleasant danger of having fear and doubt on and off during the past eight years was that I chose "Plan B" - to do what was easy and not what was right. I did what was practical short-term and not what was best. Life was pleasant thanks to the dangers I knew were possible.
"What if they don't like me? What if they don't take me seriously? How will I remain competitive?" We do what we want to do and clearly keynote speaking was not what I wanted to do at the time.
As I write this entry from a hotel room at Disney World in Orlando, Fl, I can't help but realize that the similar imagination that brings cartoons to life can often motivate us to create characters in our heads. Which will you chose today, Jared? Is your character a hero or a villain?
Whomever it is, I don't intend to see them at our Thanksgiving Dinner. Fear and doubt, like the overprotective parents in our heads, won't be welcome to join us. Besides, they'd probably only complain about the uncomfortable topic of this book, its latest cover, and the fact that it's taking me "forever" to write it.
When you feel there's no one-way out, remember, there's always a one-way ticket available, and I know that fear and doubt love to fly. Good news, the delay is over, and their flight is now boarding.
Fear and doubt may have been the #1 reason I didn't become a keynote speaker immediately after college graduation. Fear and doubt's response: "As long as you're under our roof, you will do what we say." The roof being the top of my head in that case, for fear and doubt are like an extra set of parents that reside deep inside of it.
Fear and doubt may have been the #1 reason I rarely approached a young woman to start a conversation with the intention of dating her. Fear and doubt's response: "We were only trying to protect you, honey."
If someone were to ask me right now: "Jared, if you could do it over, would you have focused completely on building a career as a keynote speaker?", I wouldn't necessarily say, "Yes." In general, I'm not one to regret things. Additionally, the past eight years have allowed me to speak on behalf of over 100 companies. I was okay being fed scripts no matter how small they were. I made the material my own. And rather than look back and regret my choices, I'd prefer to say I am grateful for the past and now prepared to provide my own topics and content.
I now acknowledge that even if I had started giving presentations based on my shtick more often after graduation, I would have probably faced fear and doubt in other areas of my work.
Until I truly understand the intricacies of fear and doubt, there may always be something to fear. Maybe I didn't do then what I would have now liked to have done due to simply not being ready. I wasn't ready to face hard work. I wasn't ready to face potential rejection. And certainly, I wasn't ready to face my fears.
Whatever it was that held me back, it allowed me to have a relatively carefree, easy, and enjoyable quality of life. The dangers of not getting booked, making a positive impression on audiences, nor earning income from speaking were hidden by years of working as a public speaker and marketing specialist. Gigs that allowed me to feel like I was on vacation.
"Maybe you should get a real job," my fear and doubt would ask me. No, wait, that really was my Mom who was the only one who said that. And besides, the only real job that I knew that was right for me at the time (and now) is that of a professional speaker. There is no other rational, realistic, reasonable, or practical choice. That is, of course, other than stalling.
The clear and pleasant danger of having fear and doubt on and off during the past eight years was that I chose "Plan B" - to do what was easy and not what was right. I did what was practical short-term and not what was best. Life was pleasant thanks to the dangers I knew were possible.
"What if they don't like me? What if they don't take me seriously? How will I remain competitive?" We do what we want to do and clearly keynote speaking was not what I wanted to do at the time.
As I write this entry from a hotel room at Disney World in Orlando, Fl, I can't help but realize that the similar imagination that brings cartoons to life can often motivate us to create characters in our heads. Which will you chose today, Jared? Is your character a hero or a villain?
Whomever it is, I don't intend to see them at our Thanksgiving Dinner. Fear and doubt, like the overprotective parents in our heads, won't be welcome to join us. Besides, they'd probably only complain about the uncomfortable topic of this book, its latest cover, and the fact that it's taking me "forever" to write it.
When you feel there's no one-way out, remember, there's always a one-way ticket available, and I know that fear and doubt love to fly. Good news, the delay is over, and their flight is now boarding.
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