When a Facebook Friend Deletes You

I didn't see it coming and I especially never imagined that it would happen to me. "Those things only happen to bad people," I always thought.

My objective over the past six months has been to gradually build upon my online social network. This has been done by including anyone with whom I've met along the last 30 years. This also includes anyone with whom I share an affinity such as my Alma maters (high school or university). It also goes beyond those who I know. Anyone who knows anyone I know has been welcome to connect.

Life is good when you have nearly 400 friends on Facebook. At least ten will remember your birthday. At least five will buy your book. At least two will comment on a photo. At least one will be motivated to look.

One of the best things about online communication is that you can avoid the fear of rejection by not responding to one's message or requests. It's nothing personal. It's completely personal.

I have lost someone who was once close to me on Facebook. This is my story.

A few weeks ago, I was distracted and not prioritizing and somehow noticed that a friend of mine was no longer a friend of mine - on Facebook. She still had an account. This was confirmed by seeing that we both still shared a friend in common.

But we were no longer connected.

Sure, I hadn't seen her in over four years, hadn't spoken on the phone since then, and shared a few minor emails, but come on. That's what Facebook is for: allowing some people to remain connected while not barely connecting at all.

And now that we're not even connected on Facebook. The feeling of loss enters from stage right. Are we truly no longer friends? Did I do something to offend her (again)? Hah.

Maybe it was a techinical error. Maybe she removed her account and started from scratch. Maybe it was because I mentioned the possibility of seeing each other earlier this year while I was in NYC and never followed up. Maybe it was because we had dated briefly in the past and she has a new boyfriend and couldn't bare to see my daunting away messages.

Messsages like, "I'm writing my next book." Or, "I am a professional speaker." Things that would make any new boyfriend jealous when learning about the other men.

I've spent four and half hours trying to determine why she would have removed me from her Facebook account. Make it eight hours. Ten hours, yeah, that sounds good - ten. Ten hours of creative thinking and plenty of "tears and heartache." Buckets, I tell ya', buckets.

Instead of that "awful suffering," I could have written her a quick e-mail asking what happened between us, but to be honest, during those ten hours of "woe," I actually connected with another 1,342 people, and totally forgot about her, the despair, and the fear of never seeing her Facebook profile again.

When one door closes, another 1,342 open. That's another three friends that may buy my next book. Another two friends that will have a friend whom wants to connect. And at least one extra friend who will criticize me for trying to be funny in this blog.

Facebook: that's what virtual friends are for.

Four (4) Commercials Featuring Jared Meyer as the Newber Silhoutte

I am the "Newber Silhouette." Enjoy these four commercials that were made public today. Sorry kids, this professional speaker was silent for the role. On the bright side, it'll make my future appearances at kid's parties easy - no talking. Kidding. Click here to see a production photo and then click back to watch the videos!

Business Card (Commercial 1 of 4)


Newber - Do Not Disturb (Commercial 2 of 4)


Newber Intro (Commercial 3 of 4)


Newber - Contact Finder (Commercial 4 of 4)

Startling Statistics About American Psychology

"What are you, crazy?" It's a common question that people either say in jest or say upon reacting to a stressor in their life, but as data becomes more well-known, asking such as question may be found to be considered offensive to some people. 25% of people, in fact.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, one out of four Americans suffers from a mental illness. While the spectrum is broad and there's an emphasis on mood disorders and depression, their statistics can shed some much-needed light as to why some people appear to be more difficult than others.

Twenty-five percent. I've been using this statistic in conversations over the past few years mostly on a one-on-one basis with people. There hasn't been an opportunity to use it in any presentation. It's still an important fact to me and can explain some unexplained behavior I've witnessed or heard about in the past.

Off the top of your head, besides one of your family members, who would you label as "crazy?" If you thought that many homeless people must be crazy (the ones who are most often found talking or even arguing with themselves), you'd actually be mistaken. According to the Arizona University of Education's web site, just 20-25% of homeless people (nearly the same percentage as the sample of the general public) suffer from serious mental illness in America.

After 30 years of experience as a human being, combined with a plethora of conversations and evaluations in addition to the research I've done and the classes I've taken, I feel I'm a good judge of character. With no psychological credentials beyond coursework, some have suggested that I use the term "intuition" when it comes to my understanding of the human condition. Whatever it may be, I hope to provide assistance to people that are resistant to understanding, accepting, and forgiving people for behaving in ways that one could label as "crazy."

Whether or not one isn't well today, the next day, or everyday, considering the facts of American life may help us deal with what we assume are difficult people. Don't always jump to conclusions; don't always make assumptions; and don't always think that people are trying to be difficult. Many people don't know they aren't well until patterns develop and they are confronted about their behavior. This is often the perfect time for interventions to take place by loved ones.

I should have studied psychology.

Being Efficient Works Even With Your Loved Ones

Is it me or have you ever noticed resistance when you attempt to be as efficient as possible while on the telephone with someone you care about personally?

"Hi, this is Jared," I often say to my Mother upon connecting with her during our weekly phone call. I want to immediately clarify that it's me calling and jump to my second objective: determining whether or not it's a good time to talk.

"Is this is a good time to talk?," I may say. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

"Where are you?" She usually asks first upon realizing we are confirmed and prepared to catch up.

"San Diego," I sometimes say.

We catch up on her week or weekend and how she's been doing and then lead into the professional and financial aspects of my life. Next up, we chat about family members. Before ending the call, we say our goodbyes that are always topped with an "I love you," something, mind you, that I started doing with her last year - thanks to my step-father, Michael's, leadership.

I suppose I could initially say, "Hi Mom," and she would know it was me calling. How many people call her Mom? And of those three kiddies, how many sound like me?

So, what's my motivation?

Something magical happens when I'm on the phone - I am Mr. Business. No matter the person with whom I'm speaking, I transform from a laid back chap to "Professional Speaker."

Do I like having control? Absolutely. Maybe I'm conditioned by all those years of sales calls I've made (for the record: zero sales calls have been made). It's just my preference. It's what I like. It's what I, dare to say, love.

At the very least, let the record show that I no longer call my father by his first name. My sister is happy about that. I should probably call her.