Curb Your Dog's Enthusiasm

I've had the pleasure of living in NYC here and there over the past few months and I've got to say that it's been a real treat. While there are so many wonderful things I can comment upon like the noise from automobiles, the smell from plenty of smokers, and general overcrowding, I thought I'd take a moment and focus on what I now call, "Animal (Self) Control."

I'm sure it's not the pet owners or their professional dog walkers that are purposely walking their dogs in the middle of the sidewalk while blocking oncoming traffic and allowing biological deposits to appear across the city. I'm sure that it is the dogs who are really to blame. I have found that the dogs in NYC are so enthusiastic about walking around such a stimulating city that they often disregard the fact that sidewalks are meant solely for walking. Ever wonder why dogs are so excited to get the hell out of their homes? Read on.

"New York City! Center of the Universe! The City That Never Sleeps!," these dogs must be thinking as they go about their business as if the sidewalk were one, long desk. While the gutter is an undogly place to be productive, from a humanitarian perspective, what reasonably-minded human would allow their pets to "pound the pavement" anywhere on the pavement?

Hundreds of thousands of people walk on the sidewalks each day in NYC. Hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers walk inside their homes each night. And hundreds of thousands walk in and around their living quarters at any and every moment. That being said, why would any dog walker be comfortable allowing a dog to enthusiastically "go" on the pavement?

Sure, there's no specific law about walking dogs on a specific side of the sidewalk. There's a law about picking up after your dog. Thank goodness. New idea: how about a law of dog walking only being legal on the pavement closest to the curb? "Curb Your Dog" is a law that states one should be responsible for and pick up after their dog. Is that enough? Nope. There is no law here that states that the said dogs in question are required to be walked curbside.

Imagine if it were a law to only walk a dog curbside. Would anyone be found violating the law by a police officer? Would they try to fight the ticket? "Your honor, I was leading my dog to the curb, but due to biology and my pet's lack of self-control, we didn't make it there in time. You know how exciting it is to live in NYC. My dog is quite enthusiastic and hard to curb." It's a reasonable excuse, especially when your record is clean and any knowledge of previous violations has been wiped away.

So, where do we go from here? Let's start a movement where all pet owners and dog walkers take responsibility to keep the sidewalks clear. Do you know why the dogs are so enthusiastic to go outside in NYC? It may be because the floors inside their homes are dirtier than the sidewalks. Where's Larry David when you need him? (Cue the music.)

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Need a professional dog walker in NYC? "While the economy has been falling, business has actually been picking up," says Mia MacFarlane, owner of Canine Concierge.