When a Facebook Friend Deletes You

I didn't see it coming and I especially never imagined that it would happen to me. "Those things only happen to bad people," I always thought.

My objective over the past six months has been to gradually build upon my online social network. This has been done by including anyone with whom I've met along the last 30 years. This also includes anyone with whom I share an affinity such as my Alma maters (high school or university). It also goes beyond those who I know. Anyone who knows anyone I know has been welcome to connect.

Life is good when you have nearly 400 friends on Facebook. At least ten will remember your birthday. At least five will buy your book. At least two will comment on a photo. At least one will be motivated to look.

One of the best things about online communication is that you can avoid the fear of rejection by not responding to one's message or requests. It's nothing personal. It's completely personal.

I have lost someone who was once close to me on Facebook. This is my story.

A few weeks ago, I was distracted and not prioritizing and somehow noticed that a friend of mine was no longer a friend of mine - on Facebook. She still had an account. This was confirmed by seeing that we both still shared a friend in common.

But we were no longer connected.

Sure, I hadn't seen her in over four years, hadn't spoken on the phone since then, and shared a few minor emails, but come on. That's what Facebook is for: allowing some people to remain connected while not barely connecting at all.

And now that we're not even connected on Facebook. The feeling of loss enters from stage right. Are we truly no longer friends? Did I do something to offend her (again)? Hah.

Maybe it was a techinical error. Maybe she removed her account and started from scratch. Maybe it was because I mentioned the possibility of seeing each other earlier this year while I was in NYC and never followed up. Maybe it was because we had dated briefly in the past and she has a new boyfriend and couldn't bare to see my daunting away messages.

Messsages like, "I'm writing my next book." Or, "I am a professional speaker." Things that would make any new boyfriend jealous when learning about the other men.

I've spent four and half hours trying to determine why she would have removed me from her Facebook account. Make it eight hours. Ten hours, yeah, that sounds good - ten. Ten hours of creative thinking and plenty of "tears and heartache." Buckets, I tell ya', buckets.

Instead of that "awful suffering," I could have written her a quick e-mail asking what happened between us, but to be honest, during those ten hours of "woe," I actually connected with another 1,342 people, and totally forgot about her, the despair, and the fear of never seeing her Facebook profile again.

When one door closes, another 1,342 open. That's another three friends that may buy my next book. Another two friends that will have a friend whom wants to connect. And at least one extra friend who will criticize me for trying to be funny in this blog.

Facebook: that's what virtual friends are for.