New Fears Eve: Should old addictions be forgot?

The new year is moments away and millions of people are filled with a plethora of feelings. Hundreds of thousands of them are feeling good, optimistic about 2008, and grateful for the past year 12 months. Hundreds of thousands of them are attempting to feel good about the past year, potentially disregarding what's about to come, and focused on the moment. And then there's the rest, feeling different things at different moments about different hopes and challenges they are about to face very, very soon.

It feels just like yesterday that I was starting the new year with stunning excitement. While I have no recollection of most of my intentions for 2007 beyond New Years day, I had no fears about what was to come. In fact, I had great faith that I was continuing my journey towards the next level of success, comfort, and joy.

This year was a big one for me:

1. I extensively improved my health by including chiropractic, massage, and an active membership to a fitness club.
2. On Valentines Day, I decided to stop eating meat, chicken, and pork.
3. I was accepted by the National Speakers Association as a professional member and had the best week of my life in July during their convention here in San Diego.
4. I started off the year by writing relatively extensively - and ended the year writing just the same.
5. It's often funny how I forget one pretty significant life-change event. I bought my first home. Investment. Home. Investment. During the summer, I told my best friend that within six months I would buy my first place. I moved in within two months or so. How's that for the "Law of Attraction?"
6. Activating the "I Love You Social Strategy" within my family (aka expressing feelings after nearly 30 years).
   
7. Finally, I developed the concept of my next book using a title I came up with three years ago. A concept so rare and powerful that I feel confident that it will plow a path for my future. Unless it's been done before. I am excited about "Occupation Nation" and what it will do for my life, career, and millions of people.

This year, I faced a few fears, learned about the general limitations we create by understandable, though absurd and unnecessary, self-talk, and have learned to work smarter. Can one be addicted to procrastination? While I'm still guilty of leaving projects to the very last minute, I have begun to fight the temptation of, well, the temptation of avoiding what often awaits me.

In 2008, I will work towards helping millions of people fight their current addictions to the distractions that dissuade them from feeling and doing better, and having more of what is intangible. Touching, isn't it?

It Doesn't Have to be Painful to Pay-in-Full

These days, people who use credit cards are often provided with a great opportunity to borrow money for a short period of time for nearly pennies. In addition to the benefits of having a few weeks up until a few months to pay back what they owe, they can earn rewards like frequent flier miles, miscellaneous items, or even cash back. To come out on top, all credit card users have to do is one basic thing: pay-in-full.

That's all it takes to be a winner when using credit cards. Pay back - in full - exactly what you essentially borrowed from a company. What happens if you don't pay-in-full when the money is due? No legs are broken and no death threats are given. Interest rates are the "punishment" and more often than not, they are relatively high. So high, that some people may prefer physical pain compared to the mental anguish of owing companies 20-25% in interest based on the money they borrowed.

Why's it so difficult to pay-in-full consistently no matter what the scenario in life? It seems as though, "When the option is there, some people just don't care." Long-term financial suffering is easy to deal with compared to the immediate fear of not having money to spend. I understand that if times are tough and one needs money, that they can turn to credit cards to help out for a few weeks or a month.

The conflict occurs when the credit card customer lacks or loses discipline and accountability and splurges on the unnecessary purchases in life. If one can't afford non-essential purchases like fast-food, electronics, music, and entertainment, they don't have to cost 25% more long-term in order to have those fun things in the present. Why do they do it?

Buying things feels good. Shopping can be fun. Society says it's quite okay to borrow. So many people have interest in paying interest, but they probably lack the thorough understanding of what it all means in the long-run. Long-term; long-run; future - are they not thinking big?

Maybe they are thinking big. Perhaps they feel they'll be able to cover their current costs in the future. Right after they go shopping. Imagine what it would be like if instead of using credit cards, consumers had the discipline to only pay cash for their fun purchases. Now that sounds like fun.

It's Not Easy Being Lean

In high school, I truly enjoyed my daily dosage of Otis Spunkmeyer's cookies in the lunchroom cafeteria. In fact, during my senior year at LHS, I loved eating lunch there. Those cookies played a tasty role in my pleasure of having lunch provided at our school. Three cookies for a dollar and a thing or two of milk and I was in heaven.

In college, my options tripled. At the Ellicott Dining Hall, where I had most of my meals during my final three years at The University of Maryland, cookies were a popular treat. Though there was so much more. I'm talking bakery here, kids. There was one semester I bought a huge vat of chocolate ice cream and kept it in the freezer in the student lounge on my floor of my residence hall.

Oh, the milkshakes. And the cake! They had cupcakes, too! My goodness, my memories of my college years emphasize so many experiences, and one of them is the delectable treats I consumed. The funny thing is that I never gained the popular "Freshman 15" or "Sophomore 60." Kidding about the 60 lbs.

I didn't gain much weight due to a variety of reasons. My age, genetics (thanks, Mom!), the quantity of fattening foods which I consumed (limited), and of course - the physical activities I experienced. I recall consistent times I went to the gym every other day for resistance training (lifting). I remember playing racquetball rather frequently at times (cardio). I may have even ran at some point. For sure, I rollerbladed throughout college as well.

How'd I look? Just fine. In fact, I looked pretty good, but knew that I could feel and appear much better. After graduation, I didn't belong to a gym and didn't have an exercise routine. During some winters while in the NYC area, my closest friends were apple sauce, mozzarella cheese, "Pastina" (pasta), and hot cocoa. Without the exercise, my genetics must have come to the rescue.

Fast forward many years and you would have found me rarely having dessert after meals. You would have also rarely found me watching television. And surprisingly or not, you would have found me not exercising. This year, I begin running consistently and joined a fitness club. I started doing yoga consistently, too.

As the year comes to an end, I have come so far compared to whom I was physically (and mentally for sure) at the start of the year. While I've cut out running to prevent knee-issues, I've replaced it with 30 minutes of cardio work at the gym. I've increased the weights while doing my resistance work. Additionally, during a short period where I wasn't physically active, I did notice my body appear, well, getting sloppy. I immediately started exercising again and noticed the changes over a few weeks.

Before I consider consuming something highly fattening, I hope to think briefly, "Which do you prefer feeling - strong and lean or thick and mean?" Clearly, I know which types of food can make me happier than others. Do you know which ones will make you happier? I'm beginning to believe you are what you eat. For example, do you want to be firm and bright like a carrot, or soft and thick like a cupcake? Think about that the next time you reach for your next treat.

Children Playing the Game Called "Office"

There's only one game that I recall playing with my older sister when I was younger. That game, my friends, was called, "Office." We had our own desks with office supplies and that's the extent of my memory. I'm unsure which roles each of us had played, but it's clear that we were emulating our parents at the time. Personally, I probably enjoyed the experience because it was one where my sister and I had shared a cooperative experience which must have been based on her leadership. I also enjoyed the experience because it allowed me to have a bit of control and feel simply organized. "Oh, what an organized desk," I must have thought. "Life is good."

Given my limited memory, I'm unsure how long the game lasted or if assignments were distributed. Hell, I'm unsure if there were any responsibilities involved while playing the game. Or, if it was even a game in the first place. It must have been. I received no compensation and my sister must not have received anything either (even while acting as babysitter) given our ages. I'm intrigued to consider the current game of, "What If." For example, what if one of our parents were in the construction business? Would we have been more prone to playing a game related to building and development?

Who wants brownies? Who wants to watch cartoons? Who wants to play Office? Speaking of unusual employment-like games children once may have enjoyed playing (and may still enjoy playing), as I grew older, my interests turned from playing games in an office-like environment to receiving great enjoyment from organizing the closet in my bedroom. While there were no office supplies inside, once again, I would enjoy the power and control - and feelings of being well-organized - by cleaning up and cleaning out my closet. At one point, I posted a title of an article from the NY Times to the top of my closet door: "Marching Out of the Closet." A few family members misinterpreted what I found funny about the title.

Upon reaching a certain level of organizational skills with regard to my closet, I was prepared for the highest "honor" of controlling my environment. That, of course, was rearranging my bedroom furniture. Sometimes weekly. Was I a control freak? Nope. I just enjoyed the changes. A new environment was refreshing although it was something I was already used to, since I was living in two homes every other week since our parents' divorce. It's a good thing we stopped playing Office by that time in our lives. If we hadn't, we would have had to have pretended to work at two locations.

Full-Time Isn't Necessarily the Right Time

Today I quickly reviewed a document that I created nearly five years ago called a "Life Plan." It covered the main aspects of my life from birth until my impending death. The document went as far as noting not only notable moments in my education and career, but even the specific year that I would die. There's nothing more to discuss with regard to that aspect of the life strategy other than the fact that I added another 15 years to my original 85 year lifespan. In 2007, I've never gone further in improving my health and from what I've learned, I'm well on my way to lengthening my stay on earth.

Something else that was more interesting to me was another edit that I made. I circled "Full-Time" next to the word "Speaker." Back in 2003, I felt that the pinnacle of career success would be met as a full-time speaker. Apparently, I believed that only truly successful people are successful when they're working full-time. Boy, was I wrong. While I would love to do what I love full-time, that's a lot of work. Who needs it? Even the easiest or most enjoyable full-time work in the world is still work.

I wonder if generations of Americans are being trained to view success as the result of full-time effort. If so, is 35 hours enough? 40 hours? Perhaps 60-100 hours per week is what it would take during one's preliminary successful years to reach the pinnacle of their careers. More impressive to me would be those cats that have become successful (in my eyes at the very least) by doing very little while making the biggest contributions to their own lives and beyond.

This misconception reminds me of those online dating profiles. Users have the option of noting their income. What I would like to see is also how much they are spending and how much they are saving. Income levels don't necessarily represent lifestyle or comfort, especially when you consider the tax implications of employment income or business revenue. And, despite earnings potential, how much time does the person have to invest in a relationship when they're working full-time 40, 50, 60, or more hours a week? I'm surprised that people who work part-time aren't a hot commodity these days. Be sure that if you meet someone working "full-time" that it's the right time to get involved with them especially if you're working "full-time," too. Speaking of relationships... now those are full-time and from what I've learned it's not always the right time to start one. It's all in the timing.

What do you know about failure?

There are millions of people out there trying new things and failing at doing them well or at all in the first place. Whether they're at home or at work, mistakes, lack of preparation, laziness, and hundreds of other "challenges" are holding Americans back from experiencing what they want. It's not as bad as you may think, however.

Have you ever heard someone say to a group of people during a presentation or group facilitation that, "There are no stupid questions," or "No wrong answers."? Such statements protect people from holding back and stagnating. Having the freedom and flexibility to open one's mouth and just communicate allows us to be creative, to share, and to face personal development by facing positive and negative criticism.

I know at least two people who need to be right and are rarely wrong. They will put up a mental fight until they are the last men standing. A solid oak tree may collapse during a tornado while the laid-back palm tree may survive another day. "Doesn't matter; they're just trees." Oh boy.

Where I am going with this? Well, tonight, I was in my kitchen preparing dinner and I imagined for a moment about my career and whether or not I had ever told myself, "I'll never be able to do this," or "I'll never be that." I've never once doubted myself nor my abilities and solid intentions of fulfilling my life's goals.

What if... why bother thinking such things? Sure, I've joked about my "Plan B," which was once becoming an actor. Such an idea is frightening as it sounds very difficult (and competitive) and I'd prefer "Plan C" instead. That being a jet ski instructor. To quote my father, "Who cares!?"

Many of us think harder than we try. Sometimes we think too much and don't try hard enough. Maybe that's why I'm not interested in doing "Plan B" - acting takes too much action. I'd rather think about being a jet ski instructor. But only when I fail. Even then, who's to say that one failure will prevent a second attempt?

Must Being "Jolly" Be Seasonal in America?

They say, "'Tis the season to be jolly" and yet I wonder what Americans are supposed to be feeling during the remainder of the year. Or perhaps it's expected that the American workforce is happy throughout the year given their employment opportunities and relatively consistent incomes. Maybe this winter season is an especially happy time for most of us because of all the celebrating going on - giving thanks in November and celebrating a slew of holidays in December - the biggest of them all for many being New Years Eve.

What about those people who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? I doubt they're sensing that this is the season to be jolly. I'm probably reading into the lyric of that song. My memory is pretty clear of my time spent in the NYC area shortly after graduating college. Those winters were dark ones for me. Part of me was jolly for not having living expenses to absorb. Another part of me was jolly for watching episodes of "Law and Order" up to five times per day. I wasn't jolly, however, while recognizing a complete lack of ambition, little creativity in my life, and a lack of fun and excitement.

We really don't have traditional seasons in San Diego, but if being jolly was in fact meant to be seasonal, it would feel like one long winter season to me. I've been consistently jolly since relocating to "America's Finest City" in May of 2002. Even with 60 degree weather, if the winter season is the season to definitely feel jolly, it must be winter all the time out here. Seasons greetings.

Even Super Heroes Want to Work

With the question, "Why Do You Work?," on my mind during the last few days, I thought of the fictional character "Superman" today and realized that even he was compelled to get a job. Pretending to be "mild-mannered Clark Kent," why in the (fictional) world, would someone as powerful and influential as Superman choose to get a job - and keep it? Well, let's grasp the three reasons my Mom works (I asked her yesterday on the telephone) and match them up with the "Man of Steel" and his motivation.

(1) Money. My Mom's first response to my question about her working was, "Money... to pay for things." I'm sure that Superman would have been given plenty of money and even sponsorship opportunities given his knowledge, skills, and experience. I doubt he felt it necessary to earn a living like any other worker in America. So, I don't think Superman pretended to be Clark Kent in order to earn a decent living as a reporter. Superman didn't need money.

(2) Satisfaction. My Mom's second reason for working was that she enjoys what she has been doing for about 33 or so years. She stated her days in the office are pretty diverse and that she remains interested each and every day. I highly doubt that Superman was bored or dissatisfied with his super powers and traditional contribution to the human race. Why would someone so powerful and talented invest some of his precious time towards working for a daily newspaper? I don't think that he preferred being a reporter compared to a super hero, especially while neglecting the multitude of opportunities of saving lives or what-have-you between during normal business hours. Superman didn't love his job as a reporter and furthermore, he didn't love pretending to be someone else in order to do so.

(3) Human interaction. My Mom's third and final reason for working was based on the experience of working with others. She's been with the same company since 1972 (aside from taking off a few years after giving birth to my sister). My Mom has long-time friends at her office and she stated that she looks forward to going to work. She noted, too, that given that she has few interests, her work has provided her with a positive solution to killing time. Superman had plenty of experiences with humans - helping them, saving them, and working with them on improving society and the world. This cat did not need human interaction in an office environment or while on the street investigating newsworthy stories for his employer.

So - based on my Mom's motivations, Superman could not have related to her position and had no reasonable excuses to work for that publishing company in order to (1) make money, (2) experience true job satisfaction, or (3) experience human interaction. It seems to me that Superman simply did not know how to prioritize.

Why Do You Even Work?

"Because that's what people did back then." This exact statement was a response that both my mother and father gave me (during separate conversations) after asking them why they had children. You can bet your bottom dollar that the next time I speak with them on the telephone that I will ask a similar question with regard to employment. I know that my Mom's been with the very same company since she graduated from college and that my Dad continues to develop his career in accounting and finance. I'm guessing that the top three reasons each of them will tell me why they've worked all of these years and why they continue to work is: (1) income, (2) health care benefits, and (3) purpose.

Money, money, money. I know it allows us to experience certain comforts, conveniences, and freedom. I understand that the costs of health care coverage are unique in the US amongst other countries. And of course, what would these two parents of mine do if they didn't have to work? While they have friends and family (purpose!) and some interests in which they could contribute more of their time, there'd have to be more, right?

The next question I will ask is, "If you were to retire today and have plenty of money to serve you well until death, how would you like to live the rest of your life?" Would they volunteer? Contribute even more towards their friends and family members' lives? Would they improve their own conditions given the vast amount of time that would become available? Why did it take 30 years for me to develop these questions? Oh, right... I've been busy - working. Why? 'Cause everyone (almost everyone) is doing it - and has been doing it. And if jobs were like children, I'd be a father with lots of children. If jobs were like children, I'd have so much more love to share. Imagine the photos of my "kids" that I could have in my wallet. I might as well fold up my resume and stick it in there instead.