I have a strong feeling that this year is going to be one of the most important years of my life. Currently, when I consider the past 28 years of my existence on planet Earth, I envision plenty of unique and exciting opportunities and experiences that few my age can both relate to and celebrate. As a I quickly scan back just a little over ten years, I realize that while it's been a hell of a ride, despite the good times and accomplishments, I haven't been completely honest with myself. It's not that I've been lying to myself and living a life that is not authentic.
Rather, instead, I've chosen to allow myself to invest a lot of my effort, time, and heart towards a lifestyle, relationships, and career choices that were essentially not what I really specifically wanted. I have no regrets regarding my past and in fact, looking at my current position in life, I feel very fortunate to be exactly where I am right now. I feel, being one who's not that spiritual, "blessed" that in addition to not having regrets, I am still where I want to be. I am writing a new chapter in my life given my progress even though the road I took wasn't the easiest one though I thought it was.
This year, I have begun to decend on a rollercoaster ride full of "life change events" based on being very honest with myself regarding what I want out of my life moving forward. Within the past few weeks I have made choices and done things that have shocked me and have made my life better sometimes as soon as overnight based on new values and new needs. I have made new choices regarding new behaviors that to this day continue to scare me.
A New and Improved Positive Attitude
In the past, I was considered to be a very positive person. What motivational speaker isn't positive? It came easy for me. I learned early on that everyone has choices and I selected the positive path. As 2006 was coming to an end, I realized that while I was positive in many areas of my life, I sensed that a new perception had formed. My traditionally positive attitude would occassionally be neutralized by a negative attitude about some small stuff. It was a choice that I kept on making. Maybe not daily, but at times, I could witness this new side of me. Around New Year's Eve, I wanted to stop being negative, even about the small stuff. And I have done just that. My awareness allowed me to open my eyes and be more honest about my attitude towards everything. There is no bad weather, only bad attitudes about the weather. Neat, huh.
Determining My Next Topic as an Expert and Speaker
"The Law of Attraction" was introduced to me last fall and when I first watched "The Secret," I wasn't impressed enough to start implementing even more good thoughts, feelings, and actions than I was accustomed. What impressed me, however, were two things. Firstly, the production value of the presentation of the film excited me just like the self-help industry had excited me four years prior. Up until 2002, I was a lot more into the idea of motivational speaking than I have been since then. It was this excitement that led me to watching it again in the new year.
Secondly, I agreed with a lot of the fundamental ideas that formed the "Law of Attraction." While remaining a very positive person up until January 1st, the most important connection I had with the theory related to very successful people who knew what they wanted to do, but didn't know how they were going to do it. Since 1998, I have wanted to be a rare and special professional speaker and best-selling author. In college, while I was aware of the basic steps that would have to be taken, I had no idea how I was going to (1) start speaking, (2) start writing books, and (3) expeditiously work towards becoming what I wanted to be since sophomore year. Nevertheless, I knew that I would become what I wanted and that's all I needed at the time. That's what the LOA is all about: knowing you will be or get something even if you don't know how. We only need to know "why?".
Now, as I evaluate my education, experience, and preferences, my new topic that will take me to the next level as a speaker and author has been developed. I have to thank my friend, Gary, for opening my eyes to this realization. The program I have been working on will affect hundreds of thousands if not millions of people either trapped in their jobs or preparing to join a workforce full of cages. The signs are very clear:
(1) I majored in finance in college knowing that the last thing I was going to do upon graduation was have a career on Wall Street or in the ill-fated WTC;
(2) I was never a company man even while working at a dot-com, but an entrepreneur full of great potential and better off as a consultant;
(3) I was hired by Monster.com to give presentations to young people about making the better personal choices about college and starting a career; and
(4) I was offered an opportunity to write my fourth and fifth books on rare, extreme careers.
The signal is now green and it's time to work!
Introducing jaredmeyer.com
First step: separating my business, MakStar from the "Man Behind the Maks" This month, after many years of fighting the idea, I registered the URL, jaredmeyer.com. I've always wanted it, but perhaps didn't feel that I deserved it. Perhaps not having it as mine allowed me to get distracted with building my company instead. Up until recently, makstar.com, was my brand; my baby. Now, I have let it fly while building upon a new baby bird.
Finding My First Soulmate
One of the presentations I created in 2004 was called "Dating in the 21st Century." It was a very basic introduction to online dating and how to meet people from the comfort of your home. At the time, I knew the basics even though I felt I was an expert. Turns out, I only knew the basics about optimal online dating. During the past two days, I read two dating books by a young cat in LA named Evan Marc Katz. One book, "Why You're Still Single," is for women, but I did get some good insight on the issue. The other book, which opened my eyes to a major realization, is called "A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating." This book made me realize that my attempts at meeting someone right for me have been, well, very wrong.
I can look back and say that I've not found the right person for me because I wasn't ready or because I didn't have a long-term goal in mind. There's more, though. I was also not going about the process the best way. While I honestly wanted to date, I wasn't honest with myself about the specific type of person I desired, respected and admired and didn't have the patience and self-control to hold out for the best candidates. Now, knowing exactly the type of person I want, deciding what I want long-term, and knowing how to make the best choices regarding dating, I am prepared to do the right thing, and not the easy thing.
The "I Love You Social Strategy"
While I come from a challenging and supportive family, I don't recall very much affection being shared. I don't remember any "I love yous" or an excess of hugs. Surely, hellos and goodbye prior to and post trips led to a kiss on the cheek and a hug goodbye. Based on my current actions, however, my life will never be the same.
A while back, my step-father, Michael, told me, "I love you." I quickly responded in kind. Since then whenever we end a telephone call, we end with "I love you." We haven't discussed it much since it was implemented and he's the only one in my family that I've been saying it to for a while.
Recently, I made the decision to implement a new "I Love You Social Strategy" in my family. While I was in NYC a few weeks ago, right before I left my mother in the 4th Street train station to go to JFK airport, I said in an emphatic manner while hugging her, "I love yoooouuuu." She immediately returned in kind. Since then, Feb. 10th, we spoke once and said it to each other, and I've been communicating it with her through e-mails.
I had to muster up a little courage to say those powerful three words in the train station. Each time I say it to Michael it stil takes a little courage.
Today, my sister, Samara, turned 32. I called her this morning and after saying hello, told her I was calling to say "Happy Birthday" and "I love you." She returned in kind with enthusiasm and a smile I sensed she was making.
Saying "I love you" is very strange to me and I will continue saying it to those who I've shared it with recently in addition to my father, Jon, and brother, Seth. They are going to freak out.
Becoming the Ambitious Nonmeat Eater
And finally, the biggest change in my life happened on Valentines Day just a few days ago. I had started reading "The Mad Cowboy: Plain Truth from the Cattle Rancher that Won't Eat Meat" and made a very strange and unusual decision. I decided to become a Nonmeat Eater. Up until recently, when I would meet someone who was a Veg or even Vegan, I would look at them with a neutral perspective. In the past, if I were to date someone with those choices, however, I would view them with hesitation while maintaining respect. I thought they'd be difficult to feed. I loved chicken. I loved baby lambchops at weddings. My favorite food was eggs. And now, after having a moment to take in a new perspective on health and wellness, I am now a semi-vegetarian.
There are three immediate reasons why someone would think that I've decided to go down the path of the plant: (1) animals are contaminated with not only chemicals found in the earth and air, but in the food they eat, which often include plant life that was poisoned as well as other dead and formerly-sick animals, too. These other deceased animals ate food from the earth and other dead animals that were contaminated as well. A clearly cyclical pattern. (2) the treatment of animals is often horrendous and the pain and suffering they endure are proposterous. (3) Animals have feelings and I won't eat any thing with a face. Neat stuff. Now, here's my story:
Firstly, my health is my number priority and I've learned that an animal-diet is not right for me anymore. All it took was one book and the research that has shown that disease, including obesity and cancer, can be related to the meat that we eat. Secondly, as far as the treatment of animals go, while I'm against pain and suffering, I've overlooked the realities of the industry. Why wouldn't I? Eggs and chicken are delicious. Now, accepting the facts and knowing that most of the animals I've eaten were tortured, starved, and killed alive, it furthermore supports I don't want to associate with such victims, especially if they're in my system (for four days). I've learned nice facts about vegetarians and how they're more slender and healthier and less prone to disease than meat-eaters. If I am what I eat, I want to eat happy food, and not "Happy Meals."
From experience, I've not felt at my best after eating meat. And I've already turned away consuming straight milk since fall 2003. While still indulging in ice cream, cheese, and other products that come from cows, I've noticed a great difference in my health because of staying away from gallons of milk. And now, I'll be cutting out a lot more animal products from my nutrition and replacing it with plant products. It may not be easy, but it's right for me. I won't judge other who enjoy their steak, hamburgers, bacon, and heart attacks. If it's right for them, then I will respect their choices.
As for the phase, "I won't eat anything with a face," I'd be glad to eat an animal as long as it died happy by old age and with a smile on its face. Also, if it was organically-raised and a lot easier to personally digest. That's a tall order for a former meat-lover. Now, it's time to make a better investment in my future. Check please!
