AOL: You had me at 'hello'

"Welcome!" AOL Instant Messenger has been both beneficial and detrimental in the lives of millions of people. It has allowed them to effortlessly, conveniently and comfortably, create, maintain, and develop relationships. However, depending on one's self-discipline and views of chatting online in moderation, relationships can be created, maintained, and developed with too much effort, inconvenience, and discomfort.

Sure, Instant Messenger is a lot of fun. From the start, you create your own screen name, if it doesn't already exist. Then, you set up your buddy list, including the screen names of people you know. You can have nearly one hundred buddies categorized on your list. Choosing your personal preferences comes next and the options are numerous. You can even set up your chat sessions with your favorite styled text and background color. Finally, you're ready for the real fun.

You can communicate with people who have the program anywhere in the world. Keep in touch with your friends and family from home, or do a short search and find someone online in Australia. The possibilities are endless. The latest version of IM even allows you to share computer files. Nevertheless, the significance of the program is the communication aspect. Whoever said "You can't have too much of a good thing" was wrong. You certainly can, but it just may not be good.

AOL Instant Messenger can be a wonderful application, but it can also be unhealthy if you become addicted to it. As nice as IM is with its ease of use, free membership, and convenient and comfortable chatting capabilities, such attractiveness can make someone dependent on it.

Imagine a student returning to their room after a long day of class. First, he checks his voicemail. Then he checks his e-mail. And finally, he goes for it: he accesses his buddy list to see who's online. (If he had left the program running during the day, an away message could have been posted to notify other users as to where he went.) So, the student does see a few of their buddies listed online, and oh, what the hell, he'll just say hello.

It would be nice if they sent a quick hello to one person on their list, but sometimes a simple hello can develop into a long, drawn out chat session. And if more than one person is sent such an invitation to chat, imagine the number of hours that could be spent sitting at a computer monitor. Unfortunately, the machine becomes a technical IV, slowly feeding information to the student while maintaining their dependency. Why does this happen? AOL IM is such a wonderful program that some users never get enough of it. Tolerance is not a consideration for it doesn't exist.

Instant Messenger is so convenient and easy to use that it can become a dangerous procrastination tool. Take another student, who takes a study break every time she hears a buddy get online, wants to ask a friend a quick question, or decides to send a brief smile to a family member. Eventually she gets back to what she was doing, but an hour of her life has already passed her by. The quick emotional high she may get from sending several hellos isn't what feeds the addiction, though. It's the amount of time spent chatting that feeds it.

It's the 90s. I know a guy who met a girl on campus and gave her both his phone number and AOL screen name. She eventually sent him one of those AOL hellos. After two months, they were still chatting online, never having gotten past their monitors because it was a very safe way for her to communicate. If chatting online is preferred over speaking on the telephone, conflict can occur. Sure, some people express themselves better by typing out words at their convenience than having to actually speak to someone at a normal rate of speed. Having AOL as an option to communicate conditions people to avoid using the telephone and users become even more dependent. AOL begins as a convenient form of communication, but often becomes an inefficient and ineffective way to maintain relationships with people.

One-hour of chatting online equals about fifteen minutes speaking on the phone or in person. This is due to users waiting for responses, needing to fix typos, and typing slowly. There are also miscommunications. If you thought e-mails sometimes project mixed messages, imagine the conflict that can occur in chat sessions. Questions can be answered a few moments too late and comments could have double meanings. After ten minutes of determining what was originally implied, the participants may be back to where they started: at hello.

The solution to avoiding the problem of AOL addiction is to limit the amount of time spent online. Additionally helpful is selecting a certain number of buddies that you want to chat with the most. "So easy to use, no wonder it's number one" is their slogan. However, AOL Instant Messenger is so good, no wonder it took me two years to come clean, break the habit, and send it to the recycle bin. "Goodbye!"

Jared Meyer is a senior finance major presently spending the summer in NYC. Reach him at jmmeyer@wam.umd.edu.

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Reproduced With Permission © Copyright 1999 - Maryland Media, Inc.

In your dreams!

Isn’t it amazing that although we live about ninety years, we spend about thirty of them sleeping? Sleeping! And during those silent hours, when our minds rest and our bodies repair themselves, our brains burst into unbridled chaos.

Dreaming fascinates me. Even though we fall asleep, we can continue to experience things but subconsciously. Therefore, if we’re able to absorb and remember some of those experiences, we could actually spend a good part of our years “wasted” on sleeping doing outrageous or even impossible things. Although what we do in our dreams is interesting, the psychology of them is what really blows my mind.

I started jotting down my dreams in a Dream Journal the summer before my freshman year. After graduating from high school, I began remembering my dreams and lots of them. All right, so I remembered only about twenty, but keep in mind that dream recollection was new to me. Never before had I been able to recall these subconscious experiences.

Humans dream. Good for us. But why all of the sudden was I remembering many of mine? To fulfill my curiosity, I took a walk to my town library. Surprisingly, while I waited at the front desk, I overheard two women discussing dreams and I asked them about my situation. One of the women immediately asked me a question: “Are you going to college this Fall?”

Bingo. I was impressed because the connection made sense! I had just graduated from high school and had about two months left before leaving for college. My anxiety level had never been higher. A large chapter of my life was ending and a new one was waiting to begin.

I originally believed that I was dreaming so much because I was on a mental vacation, something I needed after being an intense and active student for four years. I thought having time to finally reflect on my life contributed to remembering so many dreams. However, it was overanalyzing the future that affected me. Not the past.

My dreams made that summer interesting. They allowed me to participate in activities I would not have experienced while awake. I even looked forward to going to sleep on some occasions because I expected to dream. Wonderful, right? Another thing to be anxious about! Nevertheless, I enjoyed them.

I wondered if I was the only 18 year old in the country that was having so many dreams, but highly doubted it. If the woman in the library was correct, there must have been thousands of incoming college freshman remembering many dreams as well.

What about you? I’m curious if your mind swirled with various thoughts the summer before your freshman year and if you consequently remembered more of your dreams. If so, perhaps it was just a bit of anxiety. Actually, from what I learned in HLTH285 (the best class that I’ve taken at Maryland), anxiety is America’s number one mental disorder.

Anyway, my summer ended, but the dreams did not. I continued to remember my dreams throughout my freshman year and by the end of it, I dreamt a lot. I was anxious about the summer. Then during the summer, I eventually began to dream a lot because I was anxious about the Fall. Notice a pattern?

It was during that Fall semester that I experienced extensive worry and fear. I irrationally imagined the possibility of failing two business classes and therefore being rejected from the Maryland Business School. This eventually led to questioning my existence at Maryland. My negative self-talk contributed to the anxiety that I experienced.

As for remembering my dreams at the time, the most impressive thing happened. As weeks went by and my worry snowballed, I remembered more and more dreams each month: four in September, eleven in October, sixteen in November, and twenty-four in December. Using Microsoft Excel, I charted those days and created a monthly aggregate graph. The dreaming data from that Fall semester creates the highest anxiety peak on that graph.

I remain convinced that my ability to recall my dreams is connected to my emotionality. On an average morning, I can remember anywhere from one to six dreams and some of them seem so real. So far, I’ve recorded about 500 dreams on 300 occasions. What’s your rate of recollection?

We dream all the time, so I assume that anxiety doesn’t cause us to have more dreams. Anxiety only causes us to remember more of them. All right. I understand the psychology, but what about the meanings of my dreams? Most of them entail basic experiences, normal places, and actual people in my life.

Some of them, however, have not been your average subconscious experiences. The dreams in which I’ve committed crimes don’t even phase me. It’s the numerous amount of dreams in which I hook up with girls that’s interesting! Looking back through my dream journal, I’ve been subconsciously intimate with several girls from my past. As enjoyable as these dreams may have been, I did not remember much of them. I could basically just recall a few seconds of each experience.

In addition to the intimacy experienced in some of my dreams, I’ve noted that primary characters in all of my dreams included girlfriends at the time, ex-girlfriends, and high school crushes. Does this tell you anything? According to one dream interpretation book that I just looked at, relationships were on my mind. Looking back at the last few years, I’d have to add that I was also “living in the past.”

I think it’s impressive that dream interpretation books can work, but who has the final say? We do. It’s our perception! For example, according to another dream book that my friend, Heather, gave me, the one dream where I was in class and naked represented my concern of people rejecting me for who I really was. To me, maybe I was naked and in class because I simply chose to be naked.

Did you know it is possible to manipulate your dreams? Lucid Dreaming occurs when you’re consciously aware that you’re dreaming. I’ve yet to experience this feat, but imagine the possibilities. Knowing that you’re dreaming, you can attempt to do those outrageous or impossible things, and succeed! Just make sure that you know you’re dreaming before you choose to walk into that certain class naked, okay?

Jared Meyer is a senior finance major presently spending the summer in NYC. Reach him at jmmeyer@wam.umd.edu.

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Reproduced With Permission © Copyright 1999 - Maryland Media, Inc.

Happiness 101

Greetings from New York City! I seem a bit too enthusiastic, don’t I? Don’t be fooled, it takes a lot to excite me. I thought you’d enjoy reading something with a splash rather than the dry material you’re use to in class. Come on, when was the last time you experienced something really refreshing and automatically became enthused? Right now? I hope so because you may have just begun to depart on one enjoyable journey.

I’ll be joining you, not only because there are currently no other qualified and interested candidates, but because I’m passionate about this whole experience. I know what you may be thinking: “Is this supposed to motivate me to read further?” Not at all. I’m simply presenting you a challenge. I don’t challenge you to continue reading to fill up those spare moments you may have during the day. I challenge you to motivate yourself to enjoy this and every other article I write this summer and more importantly, to relate them to your life. You’ll be traveling First Class if you can connect aspects of your past and present to the information that I share with you.

Again, I know what you may be thinking! Stop. Disregard the structure that you’re used to, forget the constraints that you’ve been taught to respect, and please, don’t even consider what others will think! This is your time and only your time. Let me rephrase. It’s our time and since we’ll be working together, let me finally introduce myself.

I’m from outside of New York City in New Jersey. I’ll be returning to campus this Fall to conclude my undergraduate business degree as a senior. Until then, I’ll be working on a summer project as an intern at Citicorp on Wall Street. Otherwise, I’m dating a woman three years older than myself and seeing Broadway shows on a weekly basis. Good for me.

Let me tell you why I’m writing before you move on. The human condition fascinates me. During the last few years, I’ve developed an interest in stress, self-esteem, and happiness. This interest has snowballed into a passion, let alone a hobby, and it continues to expand. Each day I become more confident that some time after graduation, I will write books and lecture on these topics. Yes, motivational speaking!

I think I know why so many people are skeptical about professionals who have careers in the field of self-development. It takes time, patience, and commitment to experience it. Every single person has at least one thing they would like modified or improved in their life. Notice that I didn’t include the words “like to” in that sentence. If people would like to modify or improve their lives, they certainly could, so why don’t they? Because it’s so difficult!

I’ll gladly admit that I have a passion for self-development. Ever since I read two of Dale Carnegie’s self-help books back in 1996, I’ve been on a personal quest to constantly improve myself and my life. As much as I’ve been focused on discovering healthy ways of living, I’ve not been totally successful in actually changing my behaviors. It’s not easy. I’ve compiled several pages of notes and yet, I have not made an effort to spend time on finally applying everything that I’ve learned. This process is the most difficult challenge I’ve ever faced.

I don’t go a day without thinking about human behavior. People amaze me with their thoughts, feelings and actions. I naturally tend to analyze why people do and say certain things, why they tend to be unhappy about so much, and why they allow negativity run their lives. I think a person’s life stems from their self-concept and so, an individual’s self-esteem, confidence, and perception are extremely important to me.

Additionally, I have been keeping a personal journal since January 1, 1993 and have documented some pretty extensive experiences. I doubt that I would remember the fine details of these life events had I not simply written them down, and I’m talking about things that happened just last month. By reading my entries, I learn or relearn significant “Life Lessons” that, possibly, unbeknownst to me at the time they were written, were responsible for changing the ways I live now and hope to live in the future.

Finally, since June of 1996, I’ve recorded my dreams. I’m talking Rapid Eye Movements here, not power, fame, and wealth. I’ve logged most of my subconscious experiences on more than 300 occasions. It wasn’t until this past week, however, that I committed myself to analyzing my dreams and researching their connection to the ups and downs of my conscious life.

Why the hell am I a finance major? I’m studying business because I came to Maryland with a passion for entrepreneurship and I trust that one day my love for business will be re-ignited. As much as I’m optimistic about the future, I’m thinking that such an event will occur once I hear my name being called at graduation next May. Go figure.

All right. You’ve gotten the introduction and personal profile. Let’s get down to business. What’s in it for you? The challenge! Remember? By inviting you to accept the challenge of motivating yourself to enjoy and relate, I, too, am being challenged. I’m curious to see if I can influence you to push yourself to do two powerful things: 1) learn more about yourself and 2) determine your optimal level of happiness.

This is not your traditional article, is it? I have decided to be different by attempting to share something unique with you. Although I’ve enjoyed The Diamondback’s commentary articles these past three years, only a few made an impression on me. Not that the others were poorly written and boring, it’s just that other than reading them for fun, I didn’t personally benefit from them.

So let’s review: I write and challenge you, you read and challenge me. We both learn, enjoy the experience, and possibly end up improving at least one aspect of our lives, even if it’s only our reading skills.

Jared Meyer is a senior finance major presently spending the summer in NYC. Reach him at jmmeyer@wam.umd.edu.

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Reproduced With Permission © Copyright 1999 - Maryland Media, Inc.